what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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