It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
