That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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