This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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