i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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