Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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