Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
