Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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