When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
