So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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