I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
