there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize