In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
