If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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