I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
