were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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