listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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