I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
