i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's shark week go big or go home
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
