There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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