I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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