PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
