and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
