Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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