Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
