She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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