After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Houston, we have a squirter
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
