I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
