What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
