You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
