Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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