Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need to calm my uterus...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
