Already got asked if we're dating
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
