There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
