we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
