i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
