clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
