Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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