So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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