This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
