My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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