Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
