it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
