i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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