We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
