Only a mothe r could love this liver
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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