He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
