Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
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I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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