im about as happy as oj after his trial
We need to rekindle our bromance
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
