My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
