Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
