Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
