The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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