So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
