i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
