that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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