just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
