i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
