So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
