I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
